While the holidays are supposed to be a time filled with joy and celebration, they are, for many, more often filled with stress. People frequently talk about “getting through” the holidays with some dreaded anticipation, rather than the feeling that the holidays are something to be savored. No matter what holiday you celebrate, here are some practical tools for experiencing greater meaning and enjoyment during this holiday season.
1. Take a few minutes and identify what is most important to you about the holiday you celebrate, or about this time of year if you don’t celebrate a particular holiday. Come up with two or three things if you can. To make this more effective, write this down on a piece of paper. You may, for example, find spending time with family, or the religious aspect of the holiday, or perhaps the aspect of giving, of most importance and meaning to you. Perhaps it is having time away from work, and an opportunity to replenish, that is most significant to you at this time of year.
2. Next, take a quick inventory of how you are currently experiencing this time of year. Take a few slow, conscious breaths and play back some scenes in your mind of how this past week or two have been for you. See yourself moving forward into the next few weeks and notice what these scenes look like. Pay particular attention to how your body is feeling, and what you are saying to yourself about this holiday season, as you envision yourself experiencing these upcoming weeks. Are you feeling a sense of openness and excitement in your body, contraction, tension, heaviness, or something else? Are your thoughts filled with worry, dread, excitement, gratitude? Simply notice whatever arises. Notice if there are particular thoughts you are having about the holidays. As an example, you might notice excess tension in your shoulders, and thoughts such as “how I am going to get everything done? or “this is going to be a whirlwind.”
3. Write down on a piece of paper what you would be doing differently, and thinking differently, if you were fully embracing what is important to you about this holiday season, and living in alignment with those values. Write this out as an intention for yourself. Here are a few examples: “I choose to focus on the enjoyment of buying gifts for others. As I shop I can think to myself about how much I appreciate each of the people in my life and I can focus on the good feelings this brings up in me.” “I choose to simplify the holidays by spending less time decorating and cooking, and more time playing with my children. (I will ask everyone to bring a dish so no one has to cook too much).” “I plan to buy meaningful gifts, but fewer of them, and set aside some time for a family volunteer experience and some personal , daily reflection over this holiday. This time can be rich and meaningful.”
4. Now, using what you wrote down in steps 1 and 3, incorporate this into a new vision of how the next few weeks will look. Close your eyes and imagine living these next few weeks by choosing actions and thoughts that are in line with what you most value about this holiday time, that enrich it with meaning for you. As you picture and rehearse this, notice how this feels in your body, and what emotions you experience. Notice if you experience joy, gratitude, contentment, or some other positive emotion. Take a snapshot of this in your mind.
5. Each day, look over what you wrote out in step 1 and 3, perhaps putting it on your mirror as a daily reminder. Be mindful each day of the thoughts and actions that you choose to focus on. Make it a priority to bring your awareness to what is most important to you each day, as this will help bring your actions and thoughts into alignment, and help you create a more meaningful, and less stressful, holiday season.
©Beth Kurland 2016
Beth Kurland, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist and author of the book “The Transformative Power of Ten Minutes: An Eight Week Guide to Reducing Stress and Cultivating Well-Being.” For free meditation audios and videos to help reduce stress, and for a free PDF of “Top Ten Tips to Live Life with Less Stress and Greater Joy” go to BethKurland.com
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