This is the second part of this post. If you missed the first part, feel free to check it out HERE. As I mentioned in Part 1, our well-being is fundamental to everything in our lives, from our emotional and physical health, to the quality of our relationships, to our work life, to our capacity to be our best selves. Modern neuroscience and psychology have shown us that well-being is a skill that can be cultivated. Here are some more ways how:
6. Focus on what you value in your life and who you want to be. If you were watching a movie of yourself going through your day, who would you want to see on the screen? How would you act? How would you interact? As Dr. Steven Stosny explained in a recent interview on NPR, when you focus on what you value, you can interrupt the more primitive, reactive part of your brain and turn on the higher cortex. This can help you make good decisions in line with your highest values and the best version of yourself. Taking a moment at the beginning of each day to think about and rehearse how your best self can show up today can go a long way toward keeping these values in the foreground.
7. Find a way to express gratitude and appreciate the little things. Robert Brault said “Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” When we live our lives appreciating the little things in each day, instead of waiting for those “if I get X, then I’ll be happy” moments, we increase our joy. There is extensive research on the powerful and beneficial effects of expressing gratitude. Try it out today. It not only feels good, it is good for your brain. You might write down a few things you are grateful for, take a moment to appreciate something good in your life, or express thanks to someone. Sometimes it may be as simple as savoring a warm cup of tea, or taking in the sunshine as you walk from your car to your work place. It need not be anything big or extraordinary.
8. Find a way to connect with something outside of yourself. It could be a local community or group, it could be with friends, family, a pet, a higher power, or nature. When we step outside of ourselves and feel connected to the larger world around us, this does wonders for our emotional and physical health and well-being.
9. Make space for the difficult emotions, such as anger, fear, sadness, and grief. Instead of pushing them away, practice accepting them and even gently turning toward them. You might imagine sitting with your difficult emotions the way you would with a child in distress, putting your arm around the child and just being with him or her. Notice the sensations in your body that these feelings evoke, but also be aware of the story that your mind wants to attach to these emotions, that is likely not helpful (e.g. “I shouldn’t be feeling this way”, “I should be over this by now”). For a short meditation to help sit with difficult emotions, check out my “Meditation to Befriend Difficult Emotions” HERE.
10. Make a commitment to do one small thing every day related to any or all of the above. For example, one day you might make a point of noticing one positive thing in your morning, and spend a few moments appreciating it and enjoying the feeling it evokes. Another day you might pack a healthy lunch for work, instead of being tempted to get fast food. On another day you might go out of your way to thank someone in your life for their support. Set small, concrete goals for yourself and follow through with them. Don’t underestimate the power of small actions and small shifts in your mindset. As Barbara Fredrickson writes about in her book Positivity, creating positive moments can create momentum which becomes exponential in nature, helping to shift one’s life from just getting by, to flourishing. Done repeatedly, these small steps become like individual threads, which, when woven together, create the tapestry of your life.
©Beth Kurland 2017
If you would like to have a step-by-step guide filled with daily, practical tools to cultivate greater well-being and reduce stress in your life, you may enjoy my new book “The Transformative Power of Ten Minutes: An Eight Week Guide to Reducing Stress and Cultivating Well-being.” There is an accompanying worksheet for each of the 64 exercises in the book, and 26 guided meditations that accompany many of the exercises, so the book isn’t meant to just be read, but to be put into immediate use to make significant changes in your life. More information about my book can be found on my website HERE.
